Have you seen a narcissistic shapeshifter

These 4 types of people are draining your energy

If you are good listeners and poorly able to set boundaries, you are a popular victim of energy vampires.
on January 7th, 2016, 4:21 pm

There are people who rob us of strength. After dating them, we feel exhausted and drained or irritable and depressed. These power robbers are camouflaged as friends in need of help or as entertaining conversation partners. But they just shamelessly exploit the patience and helpfulness of their listeners. One of them is the colleague who is constantly whining in the ears and gossiping about everyone and everything, but is not interested in solving her problems. Or the good friend who always talks about his great job and never asks about the other person's.


The 4 most common energy guzzlers

1. The victim

This is how this guy ticks:
His job is exhausting, the colleague is sneaky and mean. Now the television is broken and the money for the planned vacation is tight. Apparently the whole world has united against the poor victim. It bathes in self-pity and wants only one thing: to be saved. The other person immediately gets the impulse to help and to be considerate. This energy sucker does not even take on responsibility. That would be exhausting.
Defense strategy:
This person always wants special treatment and has the advantage of not having to change anything. Do not apologize for your seemingly better life or take responsibility for the victim's life. Explain the problem factually. Let's be honest: If you buy a 1,000 euro television set and therefore cannot go on holiday in Sardinia, you should not be pitied.


2. The hobby psychologist

This is how this guy ticks:
She knows about everything and has to communicate that too. She prefers to send a diagnosis along with it. “I know that” or “I know what you need now” are their standard phrases. Recommendations for the love life ("Can it be that he is unable to commit?"), Righteousness in discussions on current topics and uninvited tips about the right diet ("These are signs of anorexia") are her profession. Often she is a perfectionist herself, whom no one can do justice to. Of course there is also the male version of this type of energy thief, but it is less common.
Defense strategy:
Discussions and counter-arguments don't help here, they just offer more material. With a twinkle in your eye, give this vampire an exaggeratedly right (“Right, I'm really socially disturbed” or “Right, there is probably a severe eating disorder behind my desire for more exercise”). In this way you show the right-wing woman your limits and with humor you signal that you are above them.


3. The emotional blackmailer

This is how this guy ticks:
Such types are easily offended when they don't get enough attention. And resort to a tried and tested means of manipulating others: feelings of guilt. While you z. B. As an adult daughter, preferring to spend Christmas in Australia than with the family, the emotional blackmailer named Mother whispers in a tear-choked voice: "This will break your father's heart" or "Then we just have to celebrate all alone". Such people are often self-sacrificing. At the same time, they are aggressive because they do not respect the interests of the other person (e.g. adult children).
Defense strategy:
Think about what you want yourself. Then ask yourself whether your decision is harmful to the other person or whether she / he simply has too high expectations of you. Keep in mind: If you give in immediately, you will always find yourself trapped in this game - and lose.


4. The narcissist

This is how this guy ticks:
Conversations are all about him or herself. The narcissist is always eager for attention and admiration. This energy vampire is hardly interested in the person opposite. He does not pay attention to the needs of the other person, does not ask interested questions, just gives trivializing answers. This guy wants to rule over others. In his company, you quickly get the feeling that you are falling short and that you have to give constantly.
Defense strategy:
Narcissists are a master at demanding and guilty of others. Take a look behind the facade: there is usually a person behind it with a lot of insecurity and feelings of inferiority. If you recognize this, you can endure this type more easily. If the narcissist talks about her greatness again, repeat it pointedly or praise her. Narcissists are addicted to approval. At the same time, you come into the role of the praiser who stands above things.