Normally hates our father

Father hates his child

Hello dear ones, I am slowly at a loss.

My husband and I have two daughters. The big one (from a previous relationship) is 4 1/2 years old and the small 9 months.
Unfortunately, the little mouse came 2 months early and has very bad neurodermatitis plus all allergies. I had a very bad pregnancy and was vaguely angry with my husband ... I just couldn't cope with worrying about the life of the little ones ... and unfortunately I let a lot out of him.

Now to my problem:
My husband doesn't love our little mouse. That's what he says too. He keeps saying he hates her, she's annoying, without her it would be much nicer, she was a mistake, if he could he would undo it, etc.
No matter what she does is wrong, she is stupid or ugly. It hurts so much! For me it is the greatest. He often says he thinks it's so fascinating how nice I am to her and that I have so much patience etc., but he can't find anything positive about her. We've had countless conversations about it, but nothing has changed. He doesn't do anything to her. She cries a lot and is quickly dissatisfied with everything ... except when you are busy with her or when you have her in your arms ... (I still feel "normal"). Everything I do, I do wrong, I spoil her because I piss her off when she cries. I could give you 10,000 examples, but that would go beyond the scope. He loves me and the big one very much. Also clearly says he has more father feelings for her than for his biological child ... and he would have no problem giving her up ... then he would finally have his old life again. He thinks that I have changed so much in the SS and even afterwards (got sick, very little sex, we often argue) would be her fault and that's why he hates her. She's just screaming anyway. If she screamed he would make her scream, put her in her bed and close the door ... until she finished writing. I'm alone with everything ... he helps me zero! In itself he is such a great man and loves me and the big idolatrous ... just not the small one. I'm slowly getting stuck ... πŸ˜”
At the beginning in the hospital he was with us 24 hours ... as soon as I slept, that he was with her on the intensive ward at the bed, told her stories, petted her and was happy ... but when she started to be awake longer , complaining, etc. Has it all started .... when he pucks her he sometimes throws her really hard on the bed ... when changing diapers he holds her tight with all his strength and she screams her heart out ... that's why I now do everything myself. He's a very good father to the big one, although she is not his biological daughter ... he yells at the little one so blatantly ... it hurts my heart. As soon as I say something, I'm the bad guy who spoils the child ... I could just cry. πŸ˜”